The Marvelous Misadventures of Mary and The Sue
by FallinApart
Summary: Kara Marie Asher is your average Gotham citizen. Normal. Not too special. Just trying to get by without getting killed. Sue is a painfully obvious mary-sue. One day Sue rescues Kara Marie from the Joker's thugs, and , as they say, the rest history.
1. Chapter 1

Hey! This is my first real fanfiction on here, so bare with me. I love criticism, as long as it's constructive, and I really don't care for flamers, but, like I said, if it's constructive, go for it! I don't own Batman, the Joker, or any other of those characters. I only own the original characters. Enjoy! :)

_ It's Kara Marie. Not Kara, and certainly not Mary. Kara Marie_. To Kara Marie, a person screwing up her name was the most annoying thing in the world. Really, why couldn't her parents just have given her one first name?

"Ouch! Hey, get your foot out of my face!" she whispered harshly to Vincent.

"Well, sorry, love! If you haven't noticed I'm not exactly in the most pleasant position myself!"

he chuckled in his smooth accent. Currently he was squeezed between a garbage can and a desk that looked as if it would collapse at any moment. His blond hair was slightly disheveled from leaning against the unstable desk.

"Umm…. Kara Marie, would you please move a little to the left? My leg's asleep."

"Sorry Graham!"

"Whoever is talking, shut your mouth!"

Kara Marie tried to ignore the harsh voice of the robber as she twisted her head slightly to the left and scooted over a little. She crinkled in nose in distaste as she considered how filthy the bank's floors must have been.

_Poor Graham. _

Graham had just been a tag-along from the start. He had even used his lunch break from his taxi shift to come have lunch with them. Now he lay sprawled out on the floor of the bank, underneath one of his few girl friends, and the British twit who couldn't shut his mouth if his life depended on it. In this case it likely did.

"Good God. Could the man just hurry up? I've got my next class in twenty minutes, and I still haven't eaten lunch!"

Oh, there went Vincent's ceaseless smart-alec-ness .

"We're being held up at a bank by the most notorious criminal in Gotham, and all you can think about is missing lunch?" Kara Marie snapped in a whisper. She rubbed her temple with one hand as her other arm propped her up. She brushed the strands of her shoulder-length brown hair out of her eyes.

Vincent shrugged and gave a grin.

"Relax. The gunman closest to us is useless. The chap's shaking more than Graham here!"

"Hey!" Graham frowned despondently.

"Whoever's still stupid enough to be talking, just shut your damn mouth!" a gunman with a particularly gravelly voice boomed.

"Damn, he must be smoking something terrible to have a voice like that." Vincent commented in an undertone, his green eyes flickering from Graham to Kara Marie.

"Alright, YOU! What's your name?" the amateur gunman with the gravelly voice yelled to Vincent.

"The name's Graham Cruz." Vincent said with his serious face.

"Oh no, it isn't! He's Vincent Turner." Graham twisted around.

"See, Graham, this is why I never take you anywhere with me. You can't bloody act!"

"I don't give a damn who you are! JUST SHUT THE HELL UP!" the useless gunman boomed in his unmelodious voice.

"Well, mate, you may not get an A in bank robbing, but every time you talk, somewhere a puppy dies."

The robber clenched his fists and was almost visibly shaking with anger. Yet, he froze, and acted as if he was suddenly afraid.

"Jesus Christ, Vincent! You're gonna get us killed!"

"Well, ah, wha_**t**_ do we have _here_?"

Everyone froze. Vincent's features were stolid, but there was unmistakable glint of fear in his eyes. Kara Marie swallowed hard. The voice was coming from behind her, but there was no need to turn around to know whom its owner was. The Joker himself.

She let out a slight squeak of surprise and fear when a pair of hands roughly yanked her up from behind.

_Shit._

"It seems that we, ah, have a few trouble makers over here. I guess I'll just take your short little brunette friend here and, ah, be on my wa_**y**_," the Joker grinned maliciously and pulled the little brunette's back to his chest, before putting a gun to her temple. He grabbed the girl by the arm and roughly pulled her along towards the exit route.

"Com'on tootes."

He smirked to himself. Hostages were always the best way to go, the coppers never even thought to shoot if he used one as a shield, and if they did they would be seen as a public disgrace, _immoral._ Either way, it was a win-win.

Kara Marie frowned, in discomfort and with slightly hurt pride.

_I'm not that short…Stupid tall person…Stupid tall clown._

The Joker gave a sharp yank on her arm, pulling her in from of him and bringing both of her arms behind her back with one hand. The cold metal of the gun's barrel on her temple made logical thinking nearly impossible, so she said something stupid.

"You don't have to be so pushy, you know. People might like you better if you were a little more polite."

The Joker hesitated, cocking his head to the side and giving her an incredulous look. Then he broke out into laughter.

"Ha ha ha ha ha. Wow, I've gotten a lot of weird responses to me over the years, but I don't think anyone's ever tried to give me advice on making friends. Especially with a gun's barrel to their head,"

She couldn't see his expression, but she guessed he was grinning.

"I get that reaction a lot…" she mumbled. He chuckled.

"You know what? I like you! I'm still going to kill you, but I like you!" he cackled as he shoved her out the door.

The next moments were nothing but a haze. After being dragged down a flight of stairs, and pushed face first into at least three doors, her vision began to blur. The frigid air bit her cheeks as the last door swung open. Two more armed clowns appeared and roughly grabbed Kara Marie by the upper arms.

"Ouch! Someone's rude," she muttered giving the pair sidelong glares.

_Of all days, why did I have to go to the bank today?_ She found herself asking. She gave a muted grunt when she was suddenly pushed against the side of an unmarked white van.

"_**O**_kay boys, she's all yours. Shoot her, have a little fun with her, I don't care, just, ah, get rid of her!" the Joker said in a low voice, before letting out a high-pitched cackle. He climbed into the van a few feet away from the one Kara Marie was shoved against. She winced at the sharpness of the laugh, and her eyes widened, realizing the depth of his words.

"You know, that really isn't necessary. If you don't mind, I really need to be on my way…" she laughed nervously, then suddenly darting to the left. In a blur, one of the clowns grabbed her from the side and slammed her into the van. She clenched her side of impact and fell to her knees as she tried to regain air. The blow had knocked the wind out of her, and judging by the pain, she guessed that the man might have bruised a rib.

_Yeah thanks. A simple "no" really would have sufficed… _

She said nothing, but used the van to stand. After a moment, she shakily regained her balance. As soon as she straightened up, she was met by a gun's barrel. She looked at it wide eyed, then back to the two clowns.

"Okay, here's how it's gonna go down, sweets," the clown with the gun stepped toward, moving his gun to her temple and standing far too close for comfort. She began to feel claustrophobic between him and the van.

"Uh, lucky for you, you're not too bad lookin' for a hostage, so if you, uh, _satisfy _or needs, then we might just make your death a quick and painless one."

A low laugh resonated from the two. Kara Marie scoffed at them, narrowing her eyes.

"Oh, get a life, dickhead. Don't you have some innocent kitten to maul or something?" the words were out of her mouth before she'd realized it.

"Oh, you're in for it now you little bitch," he growled.

_Wow. This is it. This is where my life ends._

"Stop! This is immoral, in the name of all that is good and happy, stop!"

Now all three looked to the source of the voice.

"What the hell is _that_?" the man furthest from Kara Marie said, turning to the source.

A girl who looked to be around Kara Marie's age stood with her hands on her hips, and she wore an outfit that was cute and showed off her curves, but was completely impractical, and likely got in her way. Her platinum blond hair fell in perfect waves to her waist, and it had small streaks of pink scattered throughout. The oddest, and in Kara Marie's opinion, the creepiest of her features was that one eye was an unnaturally bright blue, and the other was dark brown.

"Umm…Miss, I think you must be lost. The Playboy Mansion isn't anywhere near here," the clown facing her chuckled.

"I'm not looking for the Playboy Mansion, but thanks for the tip!" she laughed. Kara Marie though it sounded like gumdrops. She didn't even know what gumdrops sounded like. If gave her the oddest sensation of wanting to puke.

"Now, it's not very polite to push a girl around like that," she frowned in a pout, "I'm going to have to punish you for being so rude."

The clown cracked up. "Oh no, I'm so scared. See Benny, I'm so bad she's gonna have to punish me!" the clown snorted. The strange blond gave an indignant, "hmp," and snapped her fingers.

The clown vanished. Just vanished. Gone. The clown called 'Benny' looked at me, then the girl, then where his buddy had been.

"Where is he? You're crazy! Psycho!" Benny's hand began shaking and he dropped the gun, backing up. He stumbled over a trashcan and face planted on the concrete. He stumbled into a clumsy run. "Crazy!" he yelled disappearing into the depths of Gotham.

Silence.

_Well…that went better than I thought…_

Kara Marie turned her head back to where the girl had been.

"Ah! Oh my God!"

The girl was now less than a foot away from her, her mismatched eyes staring at Kara Marie blankly, and a blindingly white smile.

"Hi!"

"Um…Hello."

Kara Marie stared at her relatively curious, and slightly terrified.

"Uh, thank you for helping me back there."

"Oh, anytime! What's your name? Do you want to be my friend? OMG! You could be like the sister I never had!" she girl squealed with glee. Kara Marie blinked, taken off guard by her strange enthusiasm.

"My name's Kara Marie. Sure? Who are you?"

"I'm so rude! I'm sorry, my name's Suzanne Stardust Hope Nigma Destiny Napier Wayne, but everyone just calls me Sue! I'm a sixteen year-old runaway orphan, the long lost cousin of Bruce Wayne, and the Joker's future wife! Everyone loves me, and really, why wouldn't they? Because I'm perfect!" she giggled, clapping her hands.

Kara Marie cocked her head to the side, did this crazy chick really think everyone loved her? She frowned. She knew there was a word for this kind of person, but if only she could think of it….

"OMG, we could go get manicures together and get frozen yogurt, and go to the mall, and then—"

"Mary-Sue!" Kara Marie snapped in triumph. "That's what you are! It makes perfect sense now!"

Sue titled her head in seemingly labored thought.

"Well, of course we are! I'm Sue, and you're Kara Marie. OMFG we could be team Mary-Sue!" she said, her giddy excitement radiating from her.

"Umm…I don't think that's a very good idea."

"Oh, fine. We'll be team Mar_ie-_Sue then!"

"Right." Kara Marie said with a weak smile. It simply wasn't worth arguing with such an ignorant creature.

"Okay! We're going to be best friends forever and ever and ever and ever and _**EVER**_**." **

Somehow Kara Marie found a rather creepy note in the sentence.

"But first, let's get out of this filthy place. I think my future lover's men will be here soon to pick up the van!"

_Does she have to be so energetic about everything? _

With that Sue grabbed her by the hand and tossed her hair in slow motion. Then they were transported to heaven knows where. Kara Marie gave Sue a sidelong glance with her brown eyes. Well, it was more like she was looking up at her, considering Sue had to be at least 5'6 and she…well, wasn't close. Knowing that Sue was a sue she had to be very careful, otherwise it could rub off on her.

She knew what she had to do to avoid becoming the mindless creature that Sue was…. Time to show Sue just how much people hate a sue…


	2. Chapter 2

(I do not own Batman or any of it's characters, I only own Sue, Kara Marie, and other original characters. If you have any suggestions, go ahead and give them! Please review, and you guys are amazing. :) )

"Sooooo…where are we?" Kara Marie ventured asking. She tucked a few strands of brown hair behind her ear. She was nervous enough being with that _thing_, but standing in some creepy hallway with bleak gray walls, dusty concrete floors, and flickering fluorescent lights, well, that was where she fell far beyond her comfort zone.

Sue giggled.

"Silly, where do you think we are?"

"A pedophile's basement?"

"No. We're in a lab!" Sue stated, as if it was the most obvious thing in the world.

"Okay, but _why_?"

"Why not?"

Kara Marie was very close to punching her in the face. She didn't exactly know why, but every ounce of her being seemed to want to get rid of the horrid creature before her. Everything from her mismatched eyes to her strands of platinum hair, it triggered the deepest sense of loathing. Yet, at the same time she felt bad for disliking her so much, considering that she did just save her life. Kara Marie sighed.

_I guess I should at least give her a chance…_

"Comm'on! Let's explore!" Sue smiled. It was undeniably cute, like a puppy.

_Wait, no way! I'll give her a chance, but I'm not falling for her façade!_

Kara Marie nodded and gave a small smile, warily following Sue down the narrow hall. It wasn't very long, but every step felt like an eternity, and she had the strangest feeling of being watched. They approached a door, and Kara Marie slowed her pace.

"Hey, Sue. Who did you say this lab belonged to?"

"I didn't, but it belongs to the Doctor!"

Sue's hand reached for the handle of the door. Kara Marie abruptly reached out and stopped it.

"Doctor Who? The tenth or eleventh? I'm personally more of a Matt Smith fan myself so I'm a bit partial to the eleventh, but I'll settle for David any day."

Sue just laughed, turning the handle and pushing open the door.

"Not that Doctor, Jonathan Crane, silly!"

"Oh, alright…Wait, what? SCARECROW? Are you mental? Why would you ever think that it would be a good idea?" Kara Marie stared at her in horror. Getting away from one Rogue, just to end up in the clutches of another…that is, she figured that if they could get out of there before they were spotted, then they just _might_ make it out sane. Let alone make it out alive.

"Simple. Everyone loves me!" she beamed. Kara Marie gaped at her in disbelief. Suddenly the light switch flicked on. No one moved.

"Please tell me that was just another freaky trick of yours."

"Well, no."

"Get down!" Kara Marie whispered, yanking Sue to the side and crouching down close to the wall.

There was the tap of footsteps. Then there was a soft clank of metal, and more footsteps. Kara Marie held her breath, glancing at Sue. Sue's eyes were wide and her hand clamped over her own mouth. The footsteps came to a painfully slow pace.

"Well, what do we have here? Kind of a strange place to get lost, don't you think?" a cold voice shattered whatever hope the two might have had of getting out quietly. Kara Marie froze. That was the second time those words had been spoken to her today. A vice grip grasped both Kara Marie and Sue's wrists, and roughly pulled them out from their corner.

Kara Marie winced in pain as he tightened his grip. Sue didn't look very comfortable herself, a look of confusion plainly contorting her face.

"Who are you?" Crane narrowed his eyes, keeping his expression otherwise stolid. He didn't loosen his hold.

"How the hell did you even get in here?"

"I-I don't k-know," Kara Marie said, staring blanking into his looming face.

"W-well, maybe you should find out real fast!" he chuckled, "In fact, I might have to let the Scarecrow out to play if you don't. I'm always willing to accept new lab rats."

"L-lab r-rat-, I mean, lab rats?" Kara Marie mouthed in silent horror. She had a friend who a while back had disappeared for a few weeks, and when she returned, she claimed to have been kidnapped and experimented on by Scarecrow. She was insane now and had to live with twenty-four hour surveillance. There was no way Kara Marie was going to stand there and let that happen to her. _No way_.

Kara Marie glanced desperately at Sue; maybe she could do another hair flip and get them on the other side of town, or something. To her surprise, Sue was no longer looking at him in fear and confusion, but in wonder and surprise. Crane seemed to notice this and cocked his eyebrow.

"It's rude to stare, little girl."

That didn't stop Sue. She kept staring blankly in wonder. Kara Marie vaguely wondered if he was just as creeped out by her as she was.

"You're eyes look like two sparkling pools of space crystals."

Crane blinked, opening his mouth as if he was about to say something, but no words came out.

"Are those real?"

"Is what real?" he scoffed. Sue reached out with her free hand and prodded his cheekbones. He flinched back in surprise, letting go of her wrist and stepping back.

"What _are _you doing?" he snapped, looking at her incredulously.

"Caressing your ridiculously high cheekbones of doom."

He stared at her in mild horror. Kara Marie snickered before biting her lip. Crane briefly glared at Kara Marie, silencing her. Now that he had one free hand, he reached behind him and pulled out a gun. He pointed it at Sue.

"Now, who are you?"

"Suzanne Stardust Hope Nigma Destiny Napier Wayne, but you can call me Sue!"

Silence.

"On second thought, I don't give a damn who you are. Just move."

Crane prodded her with the gun, making her move forward, while he tightened his grip on Kara Marie. She winced. No doubt there would be a nasty bruise there later.

Jonathan Crane sighed. Another supplier scared off by the Bat.

_Take it easy, Jonny-boy, there'll be more. They always come around. Especially in desperate times like this._

Crane rolled his eyes before rubbing his temple.

"Since when have you been the reasonable one?" he said quietly.

Scarecrow chuckled, _You must be imagining things even more than usual. If you haven't noticed, I've always been the reasonable one._

"Oh, cut the crap Scarecrow, I'm far from in the mood…" he trailed off as he heard the closing of the heavily reinforced door leading to his lab. Crane frowned. His men never went into his lab, unless they had a death wish, and the Batman never would be that reckless.

He slowly stood from the old black cushioned chair, adjusted his glasses, and slipped a gun and a canister of fear toxin into his suit pocket.

"Time to see who our little visitor is…"

Soundlessly, Crane slide into the lab, careful to mute his steps until he reached the light switch.

"Simple. Everyone loves me!" a high-pitched feminine voice caught his attention. His eyes flickered in the direction of the voice. He could see enough to tell that there were two of them.

_Gotcha_

He switched on the lights. The figures stiffened. Crane lunged forward, snatching their wrists. They were two girls, a short brunette, and an admittingly attractive tall platinum blond.

Scarecrow let out a wolf whistle.

_Not a single word you repulsive bag of straw._

"Well, what do we have here? Kind of a strange place to get lost, don't you think?" he said twisting them forward by the wrists. The brunette looked utterly mortified to be in his presence, of course, he didn't expect anything else.

"Who are you?" he asked sharply.

_Geeze Johnny, you're not going to get some that way._

_ "I'm not trying to 'get some' you ignorant buffoon of an ego."_

_ Oh, a little snappy today Johns?_

_ "Shut up."_

He maintained a blank expression, aside from narrowing his eyes, as he argued with Scarecrow. He snapped back into reality, tightening his grip.

"How the hell did you even get in here?"

"I-I don't k-know," the brunette stuttered, clearly trying to conceal her terror. He smirked.

"W-well, maybe you should find out real fast!" he mocked, "In fact, I might have to let the Scarecrow out to play if you don't. I'm always willing to accept new lab rats."

"L-lab r-rat-, I mean, lab rats?"

Crane watched as a thought danced across her eyes. He then noticed the odd blond girl staring.

"It's rude to stare, little girl."

The girl didn't stop. Crane began to feel oddly uneasy. It wasn't as if the girl was in any way threatening, she just….gave him an odd feeling, like she wasn't natural.

"You're eyes look like two sparkling pools of space crystals."

Scarecrow burst into a fit of laughter. Crane blinked, opening his mouth as if he was about to say something, but no words came out.

"Are those real?"

"Is what real?" he scoffed. The blond reached out with her free hand and prodded his cheekbones. He flinched back in surprise, letting go of her wrist and stepping back.

"What _are _you doing?" he snapped, looking at her incredulously.

"Caressing your ridiculously high cheekbones of doom."

He stared at her in mild horror. The brunette snickered, which actually was very similar to Scarecrow's reaction, but Crane shot her daggers regardless. Now that he had one free hand, he reached behind him and pulled out a gun. He pointed it at the blond.

"Now, who are you?"

"Suzanne Stardust Hope Nigma Destiny Napier Wayne, but you can call me Sue!"

Silence.

"On second thought, I don't give a damn who you are. Just move."

Crane prodded her with the gun, making her move forward, while he tightened his grip on the brunette.

"I think when I'm done here you'll wish you hadn't ever wandered this far into the Narrows…"

"Dammit, where's the real Doctor when you need him?" the brunette murmured.

"Excuse me?"

"Never mind..."

Suddenly, Crane's hand flew up, wielding a metallic canister and held it inches from Kara Marie's face. She cringed back as a sharp hiss met her ears, and the air around her held an unsettling fog. Seconds later she screamed. Grotesque figures filled the room.

_No, they're not real!…but they are…No, of course they're not!_

Kara Marie's eyes widened as her eyes darted around the seemingly darkened room. She released another shriek as the electric wires around her turned into snakes and lunged for her. Stumbling backward, she collapsed to her knees and closed her eyes.

The smirking figure of Scarecrow loomed over her with sweet satisfaction. Every scream was music to his ears, and in his opinion, the most pleasurable sound he could ever hear. He whipped around, leaving the brunette where she was.

"Your turn," he said, lunging toward the blond. Another sharp hiss of the canister. The blond coughed as it filled her lungs. Scarecrow waited a moment in anticipation. Nothing happened. The strange girl just stood there, staring at him with that unsettling look of pure curiosity.

_This canister must be out…_

He reached into his other pocket, pulling out a syringe. He grabbled her arm and shoved the needle in.

"Ouch!"

He quickly emptied its contents. Still nothing happened.

"What? That's impossible!" Crane scoffed, reclaiming control over his body.

Sue giggled.

"Impossible things are happening every day!"

"Shut up. What are you some mutant experiment gone wrong?" he inquired, roughly grabbing her upper arm. "Why didn't my toxin work on you?"

"Umm…I don't know. Oh, maybe it was my lucky duck!"

He gaped at her in disbelief.

"Lucky. Duck?"

"Yeah! His name is Jeffery!" she beamed, reaching into her pocket and producing a small yellow rubber duck.

"Jeffery…"

"Yeah! Cool, right?"

He whacked the duck out of her hand with the hand still wielding the gun.

"Hey, leave Jeffery alone!"

Sue reached up and yanked Crane's glasses off of his face.

"See how that feels, huh? Look at this! I've got your glasses!"

Crane scoffed before raising his gun to Sue. However, a sudden weight behind him sent him off balance. He grunted as he hit the floor. The small brunette had tackled him from behind.

"Sue! Quick, grab Jeffery and let's go!" Kara Marie yelled, her voice still unsteady, but the weak dose of toxin had mostly worn off.

" Kara Mare, you're a hero! You saved me!"

"Please, just _shut up_. We need to run!" Kara Marie exclaimed before leaping off Crane and running swiftly down the corridor. The two hurried toward the door. Crane clinched his jaw as he raised his hand, barely taking aim, and pulled the trigger.

Sue grabbed Kara Marie's hand, and suddenly they were transported again. Luckily, this time they didn't land in a villain's lair, but at Kara Marie's apartment.

"Whew, that was a close one! Don't you think, Sue?" Kara Marie chuckled somewhat hysterically. There was no reply.

"Sue?"

Kara Marie glanced to Sue. Her eyebrows were deeply furrowed, and her arm dangled as it bled heavily.

"Sue!"

Kara Marie rushed to her side.

"I-I don't understand. I usually heal!"

"It's okay, you're going to be fine. Let's get you to the hospital!"

"No! I'm terrified of the hospital!"

"Well, we don't have a choice here."

Sue suddenly looked up, and for the first time she was serious and somewhat scary.

"I said no…"

Kara Marie looked at her in surprise. "Okay…"

"Let's get over to Vincent's apartment then!"


End file.
